The healing journey starts with a desire to improve our life experience. I am at that point in my life where I am ready for a change. I am ready to feel more satisfied and fulfilled with my life. I no longer wish to behave in ways that result in regret and negative emotions. I am tired of my self-destructive ways. There is so much to be grateful for, an abundance of manifestations to appreciate. So, why am I focusing on thoughts that provoke negative emotions? While I am always striving for growth and ways to improve, I am realizing that I first have to accept where I am. I have to be willing to not only accept but also embrace my flaws. I cannot create a different, more satisfying life experience while pushing against my current manifestations. As my beloved sister once wisely said to me, “You cannot hate yourself enough to eventually love yourself.” The teachings of Abraham Hicks state this often, “you can’t get there from there.” And honestly, I don’t have a choice but to embrace my now since that is all I have. So, why not lean into acceptance and look for things in my current reality to appreciate? In the end, I only desire these changes because I believe that I will feel better once these changes are made. Why not make an effort to find reasons to feel good now? Perhaps learning to accept and feel good about my current reality will be the stepping stone to an improved experience. If you believe in the Law of Attraction (which I do), life will always bring you more of what you think about, and resistance will only create more resistance. What if acceptance is the beginning to manifest what we desire?
For example, I have been looking to improve my diet. I’ve realized that I have been consuming mostly unhealthy food. My initial reaction is to beat up on myself for my unhealthy diet. As I focus on the frustration that I feel from my poor choices, the more tempted I am to eat a bag of chips to suppress my uncomfortable feelings. It’s a downward spiral and no real improvement is made. Tired of feeling discomfort with myself, I have decided to instead change my perspective. Instead of beating myself up, I have decided to give myself some grace, accept my current dietary habits, and become excited about the journey of fueling my body with better nutrition. I am no longer harshly judging myself. Instead of focusing on what I am doing wrong, I am taking the time to appreciate my body for the ways it takes care of me and keeps me healthy despite the unhealthy choices I tend to make. Since deciding to look at my dietary habits in a more positive way, I can honestly say that I feel better about myself and I am looking forward to experiencing the benefits of making healthier choices. I am acknowledging that I am in the process of becoming. I am letting go of the need to be perfect. I now have a calm and peaceful state of mind on a topic that used to bring me stress and unhappiness. And as a result I am making healthier food choices, sleeping better, and have even lost some weight!
So, how do we learn to accept something we have such strong negative emotion about? How can we show up for ourselves with love and compassion when we have such strong habits of self-criticism and judgment?
- Take inventory of things to appreciate: Write out a list of positive aspects of your current situation. What can you appreciate in this moment? Be sure to include positive aspects of yourself. What are some qualities in yourself that you can appreciate? Taking the time to focus on the good in your life can help you to accept the good in your life! And can help you to manifest even more good.
- Have a gratitude journal: The more we look for things in our lives to be grateful for, the more we realize how blessed we are.
- Therapy: Working with a licensed therapist can really help to make sense of our current thought patterns and replace them with more beneficial and positive thoughts. Therapy has helped me to cultivate self-love, self-compassion, and self-acceptance.
- Self-forgiveness: Learn to forgive yourself for your past mistakes and shortcomings. We all make mistakes. Forgive yourself for not being where you want to be. Nobody is perfect.
- Mindfulness and Meditation: Learning to quiet our mind can help with self-acceptance.
- Let go of comparisons: It can be easy to compare ourself to others and think that we’re not where we should be. However, we don’t know what their life experience has taken them. When we look outside of ourselves for validation, we lose connection with our own intuition and become disconnected from our True Self. Our True Self does not judge us for where we are. It is neither productive nor useful to compare our life experiences to someone else’s.
Acceptance can help bring peace and joy into our lives. When we have compassion for where we are and accept ourselves for who we are, we make space for growth and expansion. As you begin to find acceptance for your life, remember to be kind to yourself. It’s okay to experience negative emotions along the way. Don’t beat yourself up for how you feel. Through loving and accepting ourselves, we begin to manifest happiness in our lives.